How to Start a Meditation Practice
Let’s get the most important point out of the way first of all, mediation is difficult. It is really difficult. It will get a bit easier with practice but it will probably always be challenging.
Before you give up entirely and go back to watching the telly, the second most important thing to know about meditation (as I see it), is that it is valuable precisely because it is difficult. I’m reminded of the cliche ‘nothing worth having comes easily’. With meditation this is so pertinent. It is the fact that it is so difficult to calm the chattering mind that it is such a valuable exercise.
The other thing I need to be totally up front with you about, is that I am no expert in meditation, by any stretch of the imagination. At best I would say I’m a beginner. I could use that as a reason to hide away and not talk about it, but I think if we only ever hear from those who are nailing it, we’re never going to feel like we can give it a go too. I just want to share with you what I’ve learned so far, in the hopes that we can practice and learn together.
There are a few obstacles that can get in the way of starting a meditation practice, but I think the most pernicious of these by far is our cultural representation of it in the west. We might struggle to find the time, we might not know how to start, but with the will to try these are (relatively) easy obstacles to overcome. In the meantime, getting over/around/past the ideas of what ‘good’ meditation looks like is much more difficult.
Meditation is not about emptying your mind
The first big misnomer I think we need to move past is the idea that meditation is about either emptying the mind of thoughts entirely, or controlling one’s thoughts. This is just not what we’re aiming for (and I’m pretty sure these things aren’t possible anyway). In the yoga sutras, Patanjali describes the purpose/effect of a well-rounded yoga practice as “chitta vritti nirodha”, loosely translated as the “calming of the chattering mind”. This applies as much to our meditation practice as to our asana (physical) practice. With meditation we are working towards a certain detachment, an ability to watch our thoughts as they move through our mind, without attaching emotions or meaning to them. I think we can all agree this is very different to marie-kondo-ing the mind, and I suspect significantly more achievable (with a lot of practice).
You do not have to spend 3 hours per day meditating to see the benefits
The second idea that I believe is getting in the way of people giving meditation a try is that we have to devote hours to it in order to get any benefit at all. This is spread most widely through magazine interviews and newspaper profiles of ‘successful people’ (celebrities, entrepreneurs or CEOs, usually). These pieces are often fascinating, but they tend to fetishise the power of the morning routine. It’s as if copying the habits of a super-successful entrepreneur is going to automatically make your own business venture a success (hint, it isn’t). Don’t get me wrong, we can learn from the healthy (and not-so healthy) habits of our role models, but so often I read that Mr-Successful gets up at 4am every single day and meditates for 3 hours. If indeed he is meditating for that long then I congratulate him, it is a wonderful achievement and I have no doubt he is reaping the benefits on a daily basis. What I would love to see, however, is Mr Successful saying that he is ‘practicing meditation’ for several hours each day, with an acknowledgement that it is incredibly difficult, and the chances are this is an ongoing practice, not a state of pure bliss for 3 hours. I realise this might sound super pedantic, but I think it’s a really important distinction. It brings some humility to the situation and lets the inspired reader know that even giving it 3 hours a day is not going to be plain sailing.
The other thing I would love to see and hear more of is the idea that we can meditate for 2 minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes, on a semi-regular basis, and still see the benefits. This is not nearly so sexy as 3 hours of pure bliss and enlightenment every morning, but it’s much more likely to encourage everyone to give it a try. (I would like to give props to Headspace here who have done a great deal to advertise the benefits of a short but regular meditation practice).
Meditation is not selfish
One final western pop-culture idea around meditation that I’d like to address is the notion that meditation is selfish or self-indulgent. Firstly let’s acknowledge how hypocritical that criticism is when pretty much our entire society is built around individualism and we’re losing connection with communities. Secondly, we should set to rights the idea that meditating is selfish or self-indulgent at all. Let’s look at some of the science-based benefits of a meditation practice: increased focus and brain-function, reduced stress, increased compassion, reduced anxiety and aggression, improved sleep, I could go on and on. I don’t believe that increasing your focus, therefore your productivity at work, can be deemed as self-indulgent. I also don’t believe that reducing your stress, anxiety and/or aggression levels won’t positively impact your relationships and the mental health of the people around you. We need to understand that working on ourselves can (and does) benefit our whole society, in a way that buying a new dress just doesn’t.
So, we’ve moved past the misleading cultural ideas around meditation. Now what are we to do? If you want to learn more about the science of meditation, it’s benefits, why it’s worth the work, there are thousands of books out there to read, the number one book I’d recommend is Turning the Mind into an Ally by Sakyong Mipham. I’ve also heard great things about Aware by Daniel Siegel for explaining the science behind the practice, but that’s still on my to-read-list.
If you are already convinced that meditation is worth a try but you’re not sure where to start, here’s my beginner’s guide (this is literally what I am trying to do every day):
2-Minute Meditation Guide:
Find a reasonably quiet space where you will not be disturbed (you will never find perfect silence so don’t even try looking for that)
Find a comfortable seated position where you are able to sit up tall, this might be cross-legged, on your knees, or with your legs in front of you, try sitting on a cushion and don’t be afraid to use some props, or sit in a chair, comfort is key here.
Take a few deep breaths and settle into position, get your fidgeting out of the way now.
Pick a spot on the floor a few feet in front of you and focus your eyes on it (some people meditate with their eyes closed, but I find it easier to have something to stare at so I don’t create vivid mental pictures in my mind’s eye)
Settle your breathing, do not do anything unusual with your breathing except try to breathe lightly in and out through your nose.
Draw your attention to your breath, it might be the movement of your diaphragm in and out, it might be the sensation of air as it moves past your upper lip, you might use a mantra of ‘breathing in, breathing out’. Whatever you choose to focus on let it be something related to your breath.
Stay there for 2-5 minutes, every time you notice your mind has wandered from your breath, don’t tell yourself off or get cross, just notice that it happened and draw your attention back to your breath. Meditation practice is a practice of commitment and re-commitment, you recommit your attention to your breath over and over again. The more times you recommit your attention, the better you become at it.
When your time is up, blink your eyes back to focus, take a deep breath, and notice how you feel.
Rinse and repeat, daily if possible. To build it into your daily routine, try stacking it on top of an existing habit, perhaps after you brush your teeth in the evening, try 2 minutes of meditation.
This is just one approach to meditation, there are many many different ways to meditate, I believe the best meditation technique is simply the one you like, because that’s the one you will stick with. I’ve shared this method with you because I feel it is simple, accessible and non-intimidating. Please let me know how you get on if you give it a try, and I’ll update you on my on personal progress as I go too.